Self Portrait Tuesday # 13

Whew...the last pic for Personal History month on Self Portrait Tuesday. I chose this picture for two reasons. The first is that I felt guilty about my first post of the month where I discussed my relationship with my brother. I didn't want to leave the impression that he's anything but an incredibly kind person who I was privledged to grow up with...we certainly never had a dull moment!

The second reason for choosing this pic is simply that it makes me laugh. The thing that cracks me up about this picture is that it was taken in January, but I'm rip roarin' ready for Halloween...I always loved to dress up!

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Collage # 3

click on image for best view, and see more collage here and here...

The Waver

I see him every time I drive through this intersection and I think he is great. He waves and smiles for at least 8 hours a day and is just gosh darn jovial in appearance. Here's the thing...I always wave to him, every time I pass by, and Mike thinks I'm antagonizing him. Maybe I did giggle the first couple of times I waved, but I think it was that I felt odd waving at a complete stranger on a regular basis. In my mind I'm simply reciprocating his wave, even though he's not necessarily directing his wave towards me...and I'm going to keep doing it, because I think his grin gets just a tad wider when he sees me wave, and that makes me feel good.

Photobooth Friday #1

I only have two photobooth pics in my life collection and this is one of them...I'll have to search out photobooths in my town as I never recall seeing any...

We just took this in December at the Exploratorium in San Francisco...they're a bunch of little stickers...I think it's a little creepy.

Thanks Andrea for the great idea!

Self Portrait Tuesday #12

These are the two lovely creatures of which I am the offspring. This picture was taken Halloween of 1978 and it has always been an intrigue to me. My brother was 2 years old and I was but a twinkle in their eye...I imagine what fun my mom must have had concocting such costumes, how they might have laughed getting ready(I can't believe my dad let my mom paint his face!), and what sort of trouble they got into at the party. Another mind bender for me is that I am the same age now as they were in this picture...I just always remembered looking at this picture as a kid thinking how cool they were, going to a grown up costume party and all dressed as some sort of KISS spider creatures. I still feel like a kid, waiting for my day to come...I actually hope it never does...I like feeling this way!

More SPT here and here.

Belly Up!

Oh...sweet Seattle, I could barely stand to leave knowing there are at least 279 more kitschy corners of your town I've yet to stumble upon. By some mastery of my constant maneuvering mind, I managed to turn a business trip into a menagerie of exploration with an almost equi-ratio shopping to working experience.

I forged my way through rain & muck... & although it was treasure I sought, I found something a trillion times more important...an aspect of my life I'd completely forgotten. In every shop, bar, or booth I entered I conversed with any English speaking being who seemed willing (with the exception of one non-lingual canine cutie!) and I remembered how fulfilling it can be to share and listen with a complete stranger. I realize how small my world really is and that there are so many interesting, creative, and genuine individuals out there. I see crime and cruelty on a daily basis in the news, but forget that this is not what makes up our world. Our world is made up of these people, simple and complex, beautiful and not so, intelligent or otherwise, but kind-hearted, chivalrous, and real.

I remembered how it feels to rely on myself for everything I need, terrified of being my own navigator on streets unknown. Dining alone is more then a humbling experience, but an experiment in human nature, it's been a long time since I sat in the bar area alone!

More than anything I missed my dear husband...his kind heart, glowing smile, and warm body next to mine at night. He is my constant, my friend, my love. If I could only really be the person he imagines me to be, I would be a magnificent lady!

Places Visited this trip:

• Pike Place Market - ate here...yummy, loved this of course!
• Seattle IKEA in Renton a.k.a. mudslide city.
• Super cool stores in U Village - like this shop, and this, and especially this! had fun noodles and a beer here (I needed to chill out after a hard days work of course!).
• I love this store at Bellevue Square...oh how I wish we had one here. Incredible lunch here, right down the street from the office.
• Had too short of a jaunt to the Fremont district, not much daylight this time of year. Super cool store there called Burnt Sugar...no website.

Self Portrait Tuesday # 11

This is simply my favorite picture of my child self and I had to choose it for SPT. What more could a little girl want than an impossibly cute outfit (topped of with a matching crayon hair band, of course!), a day at the fair, and her very own pony ride? My mom loves this picture too, she calls me her little sparrow...mostly because of the way I scrunched up my face like this when I smiled.

I was 3 years 10 mo. in this picture and even at a young age in my life, it was a pivotal moment. Several months later, my father was in a car accident in which he broke his neck and was paralyzed from the neck down. I remember the day my mom got the phone call and I can still feel myself latching on to her leg as she erupted into a panic of fear and sadness. This is my earliest memory in life...

My father is an incredibly strong-willed, physically & emotionally, man and with the grace of something or someone greater than ourselves, he regained feeling in all extremeties and went on to learn how to walk again, tie his own shoes, feed himself, all at the age of 31. To this day he is the strongest man I know and has taught me priceless life lessons, notably to work hard with determination and a well laid out plan and I will get what I want in life.

Stress Relief

This made me feel particularly at ease today... I'm having sort of a rough road emotionally and...ta-da I was given a promotion at work and I start a completely new job next week with a huge set of responsibilities. I'll be training for a week in soggy Seattle, then in West Palm Beach for a two day meeting, discussing topics which I have no clue about, and undoubtedly will be sitting there with a deer caught in the headlights type stare...

I had two funky things happen today, in order of occurrence:

• I was jolted awake first thing by an unsettling dream which placed me in an elevator with two other people (a man and a woman, but I don't know who they were). I entered the elevator on the 11th floor and the man hit the 1st floor button, directly after pressing the button there was a snapping sound and the elevator proceeded to plummet for what seemed like an eternity. I fell to my knees with a death grip on the railing and began to beg God to forgive me of all of my sins, not being a very religious person this was an uncharacteristic outburst, but felt oh-so appropriate. I can't shake the torment I felt at that point, or the notion that I wasn't necessarily afraid to die, but that I was afraid to die with this unknown,unforgiven burden on my back...I awoke before we hit the bottom.

• Around noon I felt this incredible urge to wipe clean my proverbial slate. The best way for me to describe this feeling is that I would feel so much better if I could remove all of the contents of my brain for the last couple years, give them a good scrub down, toss some of them out, and put the valuable ones back in. I feel like a car driving down a fog nestled road with no signs or lights to guide my way, like a lunch box packed full of junk food, and no room for anything healthy, like a game of Tetris on expert mode, but I've lost my control...

I must be losing it!

Self Portrait Tuesday # 10

Then & Now

Self Portrait Tuesday - January Challenge: Personal History

All my life I wanted nothing more than to be my brother's friend. I always tried so hard, but he, being almost 4 years older than me, and completely cool, was not all that accepting of my attention. When he had his friends sleep over I would sit in his doorway and listen because that wasn't necessarily part of his "room", but then he'd slam the door in my face. Once, I begged him not to go on a ski trip with his friends because I didn't want to be alone for the weekend, of course he went. At our grandparents home he would see how fast he could skate around the block, and each lap I'd have a glass of water waiting for him, just because I thought he'd like it. I never got a glass of water when I tried...

The sad part is we don't really talk all that much anymore. He has his life, and I have mine. Maybe aftertrying for so many years, my heart just gave up on the quest. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and I think he is a wonderful person. We just have absolutely nothing in common, and are lacking a strong bond that most siblings have. I wish things were different, but I can't say it was for lack of trying.