I had two funky things happen today, in order of occurrence:
- I was jolted awake first thing by an unsettling dream which placed me in an elevator with two other people (a man and a woman, but I don't know who they were). I entered the elevator on the 11th floor and the man hit the 1st floor button, directly after pressing the button there was a snapping sound and the elevator proceeded to plummet for what seemed like an eternity. I fell to my knees with a death grip on the railing and began to beg God to forgive me of all of my sins, not being a very religious person this was an uncharacteristic outburst, but felt oh-so appropriate. I can't shake the torment I felt at that point, or the notion that I wasn't necessarily afraid to die, but that I was afraid to die with this unknown,unforgiven burden on my back...I awoke before we hit the bottom.
- Around noon I felt this incredible urge to wipe clean my proverbial slate. The best way for me to describe this feeling is that I would feel so much better if I could remove all of the contents of my brain for the last couple years, give them a good scrub down, toss some of them out, and put the valuable ones back in. I feel like a car driving down a fog nestled road with no signs or lights to guide my way, like a lunch box packed full of junk food, and no room for anything healthy, like a game of Tetris on expert mode, but I've lost my control...
I must be losing it!
5 comments:
YEP........THAT'S IT. Thanks for playing the game of life. YOU have officially lost it!!! HA!HA!HA!! Just kidding. No really, Abby, you have entered into a unknown realm of your life this past year. A part of your life that had not been explored. Do not be scared of the things you had to endure and leave behind, but be excited to meet the new journey that runs to you with open arms. Your faith in that path will guide and take you anywhere you want to go. Just remember that no path is easy. There are always bumps, it's just the big ones you hope you miss. I love you!!
I really wish I knew who entered the previous comment...but,thank you.
A person who believes in you more than you could ever imagine possible. ;)
OMG, I am bananas over that bubblewrap page.
but also: it's so difficult when unsettling things come along and totally throw us off our game. I feel you. just keep on writing and questioning and growing. sounds like you are on the right path.
abby. you will rock out at your meetings. you just will. i can feel it.
you are such a strong and beautiful soul.
your writing is so powerful. keep taking care of yourself.
you are inspiring.
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